I'm so depressed

Day 30. Even Tiddles never had to suffer this.

And something's missing. 5 days ago, Ash and I went to the vet. So far this vet business hadn't been so bad. Sometimes a young human woman fondled me in ways that weren't entirely unpleasant. Other times a male human with an alien accent that made me think of strange meat products wouldn't shut up. Kept going on about "wee yon Ash, wae a bonnie wee tyke yon bancake is." I don't know what it means but I suspect I may need to cuff him. Humans always go on about Ash. If only they realised they truth.

Hmmph, I digress. I don't really want to think about it but, this time

it was

different.

It's a bit blurry but when I woke up I didn't feel hungry. That was my first clue. Then, later, I realised something was missing. Ash didn't seem to have noticed anything different but I could. I had this urge to wear loose fitting clothing and eat lots of Turkish Delight.

I tried licking but that didn't work no matter how hard I tried.

And now this. The collar of doom. It's so heavy I can't lift my head from the floor. There will never be sunshine again. Food has lost its flavour. I can't even get irritated by Ash. That said, if he suggests dangly bits on the collar again, I will cuff him.

Sigh. I'm going to lie in the doorway again in the hope that a passing human might kick me. That would make my day complete.