Hoots

Uncle Sydney hoots quite often. Usually when he wants tuna or ham. Uncle Sydney always wants tuna or ham. I like living with Uncle Sydney, even though he's always hitting me, because he likes sharing his tuna and ham with me so I get lots more than I ever did before.

I wonder if Uncle Sydney's really an owl cat. Owlcats hoot and are always bad tempered, at least they look bad tempered. I haven't seen Uncle Sydney fly. He did jump a little bit once but he broke the floor when he landed and made all the dogs in the area bark.

Mother! What happened?!?

Pause to sleep

I am feeling very sleepy today. Last night I battled with monsters and demons to keep the humans safe while they slept. I don't want to alarm them though, so I slept very carefully all day to conserve my energy.

Of course, Mr Woman had to keep picking me up and checking if everything was ok then squeezing me to make sure so that didn't help. Luckily Mr Man's "on the bru" (whatever that means) which means he just sleeps all day like me and hangs around in his "chav" gear. And cos Mr Woman clipped him last night, his hair is no longer loud and bushy so he doesn't make any noise when he glides around the house. So I got lots of sleeping done.

Apart from the "shower." It's bad enough when the humans almost drown themselves each morning but when Mr Man decided to do it this afternoon I had to rush into the room after him and yell until he came out safely. Silly Mr Man! Why can't he just lick himself dry like a normal person?

Jaws

Uncle Sydney does have an awfully large mouth.

My belly is magnificent!

Don't know what those two humans see in that skinny, little grey thing. See this, jimmy? This belly is where it's at. There are yaks that would kill for a belly like this.

Hootsmonland

This is me lying on the grass in Hootsmonland.
Mr Desh told me that the grass here would be tartunn coloured but it looks green to me. I've never had my own grass before. I like to use to keep Mr Woman fit by chasing after a piece of stick that she runs around with.

I do miss Mr. Desh. I've tried playing "murder Unkulcat Sydney" but he doesn't quite understand the rules of the game. I never used to know what an unkulcat was but I think it must be one that's very big and makes a lot of noise and gets fed nothing but tuna and ham then likes to lie around a lot. This is unkulcat Sydney. He's BIIIG!!

He also likes to talk a lot. Last time I wanted to play "Murder Unkulcat Sydney" he said "No" but it didn't mean "ok, in a minute then." They must speak a different language up here.

Still, me and the Unkulcat will be great friends soon and have lots of adventures in micespace. I just know it. This is me and Sidders (that's what I like to call him when he's asleep) sniffing noses just like the bestest of friends.

Finally, here's me keeping Mr Man warm. Apparently Mr Man has bought a bicycle so that he doesn't "end up like Sydney." I guess that means he's worried about losing a tooth and smelling of tuna.