4:30am. No biscuits left. Licked up some crumbs.
5am. Woman leaves. How could she?
6am. Hungry. Send Ash upstairs to wake the man.
6:15am Ash fails. What's going on?
7am. Send Ash upstairs again. Briefly consider eating my own tail.
7:30am Ash howling at bathroom door. There is hope. Human is cleaning itself. Does it every day. Weird things humans; takes me days to get a good scent built up.
8am. More biscuits! Is that it?
8:10am Human is cooking something with chicken involved. The torture!
8:15am Human hands me one piece of chicken! One piece! I may faint from hunger.
9am Man rushes out of door. Nothing but me and Ash and 27 biscuits. This is going to be grim.
9:10am. Ate 4 biscuits, trying to make rest last.
9:22:14.7 Biscuits gone.
9:30 Hungry.
10am Meals on wings have dried up since they stuck these damned jangles on me.
10:21am Find some food scraps on my paws.
10:37am Try to amuse myself by persuading Ash to stick his head in a box.11:15am Still amused.
12:32pm So amused my sides hurt.
12:33pm Hurting sides turn out to be due to hunger.
12:54pm Ginger tarts taunt me some more. I'll give them "bell boy." Just wait until I have the strength to move.
1:14pm Ash has gone to look for his mother. Wonder if I can find his secret food stash. He must have one.
1:56pm Bring in a pile of moss and pretend it's food for a while. Think I may be hallucinating due to hunger.
2:14pm Mysteriously tired. Alien sleep ray being used on me from somewhere.
5:16pm. Groggy. Hungry. No humans around. Try gnawing the wallpaper. No calorie value there. Don't they know I'm a formula one cat? Precisely tuned, that's me. Slightest imbalance in my diet and I can no longer function at optimum efficiency. Just seen a fly! There's hope.
5:35pm. Still no humans. What if the Rainbow Bridge is real? It'll be full of fat, smug American cats. The horror. Must endure. I will not go gently into that good night. Think Deshar,there must be something to eat.
6:01pm. The burning sun beats mercilessly down on me. Just Ash and me on this raft and around us the pitiless sea. My lips are parched, my eyes glued shut. This is it, little Ash, they've abandoned us. One of us must make the ultimate sacrifice so that the other may live. Ash, you look so fluffy and plump, why are you backing away like that?
6:32pm. What was that? Was that what I think it was?
6:33pm. It was! It's a door opening! We're saved little Ash!
6:34:22 It's the man! Oh no! He always does other things first! Woman feeds us straight away. Not him. Oh no. He has "priorities". Woman knows what's best.
6:35pm Dying!
6:36pm Hunger!
6:37pm Starvation!
6:38pm Hunger again! Look I'm begging you! Just feed me! I can't take it any more.
6:39 Oh yes! Oh yes! He's going for the special cupboard! Go on! Go on!
6:39:15 The blue plates! Yes! It's the wet stuff! Can't .... wait .... any longer.
No comments:
Post a Comment