Pink Passion Mobile

I'm sending this from my secret lair. I've heard rumours that the mysterious Pink Home of Doom is on the move. Even Ash has scarpered. He may be a cat of remarkably little brain but he has occasional insights.

Last time the PHD came out I woke up later with stitching all over my chest and a whole bunch of pills with my name on them. Actually, I reckon the body art isn't so bad; it shows off my masculine chest. Quite tribal if I say so myself. And you should see my shoulders. I've got into weight training recently and even the fat ginger tarts are impressed.

I'm going to be BIG. BIG I tell you. BIG.

Ahem, sorry, got a little carried away there. I've been feeling a bit strange since the humans changed my pills. My grammar sense seems to be malfunctioning. Not even very interested in flying crunchies. Just want to pump iron. Wanna get physical. Wanna be so macho. Gonna grow me a tache and get some leather chaps. Pump it baby! Yeah! I'm a tiger!

Midday update: Ash just came running up to tell me that they've got me a cape. A cape? So I did some research. And now I'm depressed. They can't expect me to wear THAT thing down there. I tell you, someone's going to pay.