OK. What is it with the humans and bells? I bet you it'll be tags next. The male is obsessed with tags. Sometimes, though, I wonder.
"Captain" Jack keeps insisting that I've been "cheeped." I used to think he was just a bit weird but maybe he's Russian. Maybe he's laughing because I'm "chipped." I've heard of cats being chipped. Once, in the holding pens, they took me to a "vet". I fell mysteriously asleep and when I woke up there was a lump between my shoulder blades, right where I can't get it. Ever since then, the aliens have been tracking me. Even if I hide beneath a car and cover the transmitter in oil, they can still scan me. Betrayed I tell you and now the bells mean that I can't even get in and out of the catflap without cat of very little brain jumping on me for a game of "Punch Mr Desh." What did I do to deserve this?
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