Hypnocat

Look into my eyes! You will obey me. That means you, Mr. Woman.

Cyclopean fears

You see the humans think that Ash is "kyoot." They're fooled by his harmless meeping, his pretending that he has forgotten how to use the cat flap and his love of shiny things but they're wrong.

He's a monster. See, the proof is in the photo - one single, staring eye. The eye of evil. The eye that gives me no peace. The eye of a fiend that whispers "catbib" into their ears while they sleep. I will not rest until the truth is revealed.

At last!

Mwha ha ha! At last, everyone's asleep. Now my true evil side can emerge. The world will be mine!
Soon all humans will be woken at 5am by robot cats programmed to do just that! As they stumble tiredly through their days I will roll at their feet showing off my cunningly designed belly and they will fall before me. "Ash" they will say "Your are the lord and master of all you survey. We live only to feed you and never more shall we shut a door in your presence. We shall present our beards to be chewed and we shall immediately scour the land for all large, white, hairy things and" ow!
Mr Deshar! What did you do that for?

Hey why am I hanging upside down from the kitchen ceiling with my head spinning round? That's odd.

Oh well, deebly doobly, I'm a child of satan.