"Agent Orange" reporting from the field. Have taken cover in a protective place. Strange things happened last night. The earth moved. At first I thought it was Ash's hurdies making the ground shake - that cat can pack away a lot of food into those inflatable hurdies of his - but no, it was something far more mysterious. I suspect that it is to do with this mysterious "Edinburgh" project that the humans are working on. It seems to require them to drink copious amounts of that red stuff they call wine and to hang around the door asking passers-by if they want to view the house. I mean, these passers-by aren't blind so presumably they can view the house without problem.
It's a conspiracy. It has something to do with tartan, the kind of mystery meat products that even I would think twice about eating and much chanting of the mantra "Donal, wurz yer troosers?" Don't know what the language is but I suspect it's related to "cthulhu phatgn" and "Ia, Ia Shubniggurath."
I tell you, something's going on.
"Agent Orange" signing off.
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