Free

For once the humans have done something good for me. I tell you, I was starting to get distinctly worried by the female. Every time she picked me up something BAD happened. I'm starting to think that she's a part of IT. She sounds so friendly and has such comfortable shoulders but each time I let down my guard she does something awful to me. She applies creams to really rather private areas or she puts the blue t-shirt on me. I mean, I know "babes dig me", I don't need to be told, you only have to look at me - or, worst of all, she puts on the slave collar. Then, other times, it's into the pink transporter with yours truly and off to the experimenting room. I don't really know what happens in there, all I know is that they have a fetish for my hair; each time I wake up they've shaved some off. I suspect that they're trying to build a clone.

Anyway, for once, the humans have done something nice. They've provided me with a launch pad. I've delicate paws, you know.

Even better, the male took off the slave collar and fed me. Yes. Fed me. Glory be. I was beginning to think that they had forgotten that I actually need food to exist.

Mind you, the woman is mysteriously absent. Perhaps she's communing with the mothership? (No Ash, I did not mention your mother). It means a whole day without creams and pokes and proddings. Heaven.

I could do with a shoulder though. It's quiet around here. Actually when I say "quiet" what I mean is that the male is making that loud noise that he refers to as "music". Heck, I could sing more tunefully than that.