Eye twitchy but ok. Ear mostly healed. Chest normal and bite behind ear seems to have gone down. Bum rather sore. Sending this from beneath the car. Female human kept sniffing me yesterday and cooing. Can't be having that.
Also have theory. Every morning they put me on the SLAB. The female then pokes me in places I really don't want to have to think about while the male human pins me down. Once they've humiliated me they try to buy me off with the tube of black paste. Then something else happens and it all becomes a blur; the last thing I remember is a black pen being shaken and then the red glow. When I come to, I'm lying on my side panting. Now I think if I could see my shoulders I would find a strange double mark. Clearly, someone has messed with my genes so I must have super powers. You see, that explains Ash. He's a spy from The Organisation. He pretends to be incompetent but, when I sleep, I always see him there. Watching. Watching. Watching.
The answers are in the lights in the sky, I tell you. Look to the skies. The truth is up there.
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