50 hours

50 hours! 3000 minutes. There's a fat cat called Hatty who wakes me up at 6am every morning to ask me if she looks fat. There's a slavering horde of smelly dogs that bark without fail every 20 minutes when a train goes past. Then there's Ash. I swear if that cat says "Isn't this fun?" one more time, I'm going to do something. That and 10 hours of daytime television every day. Ash is now convinced that his mother was a large, transexual, illegal immigrant cushion which is why she had to abandon him.

Ear still tender, chest itchy, bum fairly normal. Feel worried because something else is bound to go wrong.