Remarkable

Remarkably enough I have enjoyed more than an hour without being made to eat a pill, drink the yellow milk or even being puffed. If only the little, grey pest wasn't hurtling around the place like a jumping bean with St Vitus' Dance, my life would be almost tolerable.

Update. I was wrong. They found something else. Held me down and doused the back of my neck with some sort of chemical. Now, everywhere I go, flies drop dead. Tried sneaking up on that fat pigeon again but it could smell me coming. Rats.

My Big Furry Friend

This is me and Mr Indy hanging out together. You can see the way he likes to look all big and fluffy and how much he likes to chill with me. He still doesn't talk much, due to the "war wounds" and the humans do give him lots of pretty coloured pills as well as the special face mask thing. They never give me pills. Mr Indy keeps offering to let me have some; sometimes he holds onto them in his cheek pockets for ages and leaves them for me. They never taste too good by that point but I don't mind because it just proves how much Mr Indy likes me.

Though sometimes his head bobbles and his eyes get all wide then I have to hide because he attacks the house.

Ash reporting in

It's cold and snowy out there. No way is it fit for a cat of my sensy, sensya um me. And Mr Man and Mr Woman are making it hard for me to blog because they keep going off and doing things and making something they call a "wedding blog."


I've no idea how anything can be more important than helping me blog. I might have to give that some deep thought on Mr Man's academic chair. Mr Man always thinks best when his eyes are closed so there's no distractions and as Mr Man is the brainiest human in the universe then I better copy him.

Oh and Mr Indy's back on his fat pills. He keeps waddling all over the place taking about water retention and how he would give Felix a good thumping if only he could squeeze out of the window.

That's all for now. Back to thinking. Ash signing out.

regal

If I say so myself, I'm a mighty fine hunka hunka cat.

Catching up

I haven't been doing much blogging for a while and I have been told I better catch up. I've been too busy getting into television so here's some photos.

This is Indy. He's still my bestest friend though he doesn't do much these days. He has to keep going to see his German friend at the Dick Vet. Each time he comes back he has a new hair cut as well. It's not fair. The humans don't take me for pampering like that. Anyway, he doesn't like having his photo taken because he's not as photwhatsit as me.


And this is Jiminy. He lives next door and I don't think he's very clever. Not like Scamp - she's brainy.

Proof!

They all said I was mad to wait by the curtains all those times but I knew my mother was there all along.

It's in black and white

This koo business is starting to confuse me and, I'll have you know, I'm not easily confused. You see my humans went to see a koo so I thought they were bringing back a friend for Mr Indy. But this koo is black and white.
Apparently it's a Ger Man as well and not a kuh at all. Scamp, my friend from outside who fancies me said "ceci n'est-pas un kuh" because she's really brainy. Thing is, if it's a Ger Man then Mr Indy will like it because he it will remind of him of Anita vet. Then again it's black and white like evil Hitler cat so Mr Indy will have to fight it! What's a little cat to think?

Credit crunch?

Are Mr Man and Mr Woman getting desperate? I've heard them talking about the credit crunch, but I think that sounds biscuity and delicious, and it makes me hungry. I hope they're not going to run out of money. I've heard Mr Man threatening to buy cheap Tesco cat food, but Mr Woman won't let him.




He did pimp me on teh interwebs though. And now he's pimping Deshar! He'll never pimp Mr Indy, though. He's not flexible enough to turn upside down.

I am not a koo!

Great! Get stuck outside all night only to find out that A.D.D. cat has me confused with a koo. He has of course never seen a koo. In fact if he got even one glimpse of a koo he would be straight on the case beneath the bed and start meeping at me to deal with it. He's all big and brave until something shows up and then it's "Mister Indy! Mister Indy! Get Hitler cat! Beat up Stubbs! Go frighten the barker!"

Don't get a moment to breathe around here.

Flat out!

Mr Man says Mr Woman has been pimping me around teh intertoobz at something called "Upside down kitties." Mr Man says that I have to earn my keep and if the only way I can bring home a crust is by lying on my back then that's how it'll have to be. Don't really understand why I should bring home a crust. I have brought home pork chops, blue sponges and silver balls in the past but they never seemed to want one of them.

Humans are strange sometimes.

I guess I better tell you that they took Mr Indy away in the pink cage again! Nooooo! Luckily they brought him back. He didn't say much afterwards but then he never does. His breathing has been a little funny though. Apparently Mr Woman took some pictures of Mister Indy in Dundy. I could have sworn he was in the house all along though.

Supercat!

This is me being faster than a speeding bullet and able to leap small objects in a single bound!

Mister indy!

What have you been doing? I don't know what to think anymore.

Carpet muncher

Tweet this way!

I've been getting loads of new furry friends on twitter. I don't exactly know what twitter is though Mr Desh once explained that it's a place where lots of sock puppets hang out so I would fit right in. Mr Desh liked saying brainy things like that that made my head spin. He could even do hay-koo. Apparently Mr Woman says hello to koos too whenever she goes to Dundy. I've never seen a koo in real life, unless you count Mr Indy of course. He doesn't have horns but otherwise he's quite close.

I think I must have lots of friends because I'm beautiful and talented and modest. See, that's me being fierce in order to scare off nasty black and white cat. Of course he wasn't actually there, or anywhere near there, at the time but that was just lucky for him.

Oh, Mr Man said I need to explain what I mean about Mr Indy and koos so I took this photo to help explain.
Anyway, I just wanted to say that I know I'm fabulous but it's always nice to hear it and, while you're at it, tell my humans that they keep accidentally locking me into the living room at night. I wouldn't mind but Mr Indy does snore something awful and sometimes he goes a bit mad and attacks the carpet. He says there's a monster beneath it but that's only because he's trying to scare me and I don't scare easily. I ain't afraid of no ghost.

Mother?!

Mr Woman's gone strange. I think she might be my mother after all. She's very furry and she doesn't like cold any more than I do. Don't know where her tail is though. Maybe she lost some of it because Mr Man often says that she's a great bit bit of tail. Wonder what happened to the rest of it?