Opus d'art

This is me doing performance art; it's my impressionist phase. They don't call me Opus for nothing you know.

I don't need no special cat club!

They think they're so special, those two. I have a featherstick of my very own, and my own human to fetch it back upstairs for me. How special am I?

The special cat club

Me and Mr Indy are in the special cat club now. The special cat club doesn't let any tiny, round-eyed, black & white cats in. Only cats in the special cat club get to sleep next to each and be BFFs.

So there!

No-one loves me!

Well, the humans love me. I can do laps, and I like being picked up. That, apparently, makes me sort of unusual around here - maybe that's why the other two cats here hiss and glare at me so much. I try to be friendly and I do my round-eyed thing at them, but it doesn't seem to work so well on cats as it does on people.

I do kind of miss the house-party I came from. There were LOADS of other cats there and we used to sleep in a big warm heap. The house-party was called a rescue centre but it felt like a party to me. New cats arriving all the time and then some of the ones who'd been at the party for ages would vanish. I guess I've vanished now. Have I been rescued now? Or was that before? I'm kind of confused.

Oh well. At least the cuddling's good here. And I have a bed to myself - I get the very top bunk. I've always wanted that one.

Maybe the others will love me tomorrow.

It could be worse

You know, there's just one thing in the world worse than being outside in the snow. That's being inside with a pesky, round-eyed kitten that wants to be your friend.

Everybody loves me!

Everyone's happy now because I'm here! I chase things!! I purr! I sit on laps! I love everyone and everyone loves me because I'm Petie!!!

I does laps

stix n stairz n pillz

I think Mr and Ms Man must be planning on leaving me behind again. Auntie Annie came around to the house last night and tried to tempt me with a swan feather. Last time before they left, Auntie Joy came around. She had whacks in her ear so didn't hear me asking to be let out nice early. By the time the Mans had come back I was all meeped out.

Now it sounds like Auntie Annie is going to be visiting while the Mans go and do fun things without me. How can they do fun things without me? That's not possible! They keep trying though. It's almost as if they don't love me, poor little Ash all abandoned and cold. Anyway, apparently Auntie Annie can do wrecky and healing magic for cats. Ms Man does washing magic because the takes all the dirty clothes and makes them all clean and pressed without Mr Man ever noticing. I see him peering at the washing machine sometimes trying to figure out how Ms Man's magic works.

I don't think I need any healing magic though apparently Mr Indy's blue pills are magic because they make him breathe hard then his tail sticks in the air and he starts to chase me around the house and up and down the stairs. The new house has stairs and stix on the stairs. That makes me happy.

Also my hero

I've not just been watching teevee but I've also been learning how to things on teh intertoobz. I reckon I could teach Simon's cat a few tricks though.

TV is great

Mr Man and Mr woman like to watch TV sometimes. They like someone called David Attenburrow, but Mr Man finds his programmes so interesting he has to close his eyes and think about the programme for a long time.

I like Mr Attenburrow's programmes too. Sometimes they have bears in them but mostly they don't. Here's me learning about insects. I like insects. I like the crunchy wrapping.

Signed off

Back from my fan club. Five of them this time. They prodded me, poked me, picked me up and shouted "Indy boy" in my ear, stuck cold things in unmentionable places and generally adored me. Still, at least they didn't try to stick in needles in me and I overheard them saying that I was being signed off the sick so I guess it's back to work for me. No more being driven around in a cage while "Ms Man" makes grinding noises and explains that she would "never buy a kia." Cat of little brain keeps insisting that Ms Man buys from Ikea all the time and much though I've tried to explain the difference between a Swedish shop and a korean car, he doesn't really get it.

Out in the cold

Mr Man's out in the cold. At least, I think that's what's happening. It's a bit hard to understand him right now. He keeps sniffing and sneezing and Ms Man made chicken soup - for him! Not me!

When I get left out in the cold, I let Mr Man and Ms Man know they've accidentally shut me out by telling them I'm outside, as loudly as I can. Mr Man, though, can't speak very loudly at all just now so maybe that's why he'd out in the cold? I wish Mr Indy could speak. I'm sure he understands all this, but he never says anything.

It's all very confusing.

Ms Man says Mr Man has a man-cold, and he's invited some germs over for a while. Germs? Is Hitler cat coming to stay?

Goodbye Bob

Bob was a neighbourhood character. Big-boned, extravagantly fluffy and not all there. Ash would spend hours watching him through the window and half the world petted him as they passed by the house. Sadly Bob fell victim to yet another car driver who couldn't be bothered to stop.

Bob will be missed by many around here.

Confused

OK so the last few months have been very confusing. First Mr Man took to wearing a skirt. That was odd and I tell you I got real shock the first time I looked up. Gave me nightmares afterwards; no wonder they took me and Mr Desh to have THAT operated on. Shudder.

Then both of them kept telling me that joy was coming to the flat and they were leaving me. Leaving me! How could they do that! Mind you, at least I didn't have to worry about Mr Man and that strange dangly furry thing he started wearing. It was so white and fluffy that Indy kept checking his tail to make sure nothing was being nicked.

And then they did leave me. With Anti-Joy. Deaf Anti-Joy who couldn't hear me when I kept trying to tell her that I was locked in the living room and it was 4 o'clock and I needed first breakfast.

Then to top it all, they came back without a word of explanation and now apparently Mr Woman is Ms Man. I haven't been able to blog since because my head hurts so much that I have to sleep in order to have deep thoughts. Just like Mr Man.

Letting the wrong one in

This is me in watch cat mode. Mr Man has been complaining ever since those nice men came in and took away some of his stuff and some of Mr Woman's stuff too. Kept saying Indy and I were supposed to fight off someone called Berg Lurrs. Mr Indy says that this Berg person might be Swedish. The men didn't say their name but they did take away the IKEA bag and Indy says that's Swedish.


Indy knows lots of things due to his time in the war. He doesn't talk much about it. Actually he doesn't talk much about anything due to not being able to talk but he does mime and lashes his tail a lot to make his point. But anyway he mimes that when he was in the war before I knew him he had all sort of secret missions but then lost his memory. All he has left is a dog tag with "Weapon I" on it. I would have thought it would have been a cat tag but he's never let me see it. I would like a cat tag, especially if it was glittery and shiny like Mr Woman's finger.

Think I'll go to sleep now. Out of practice with blogging and it's making me tired and I think I've forgotten what I was going to write about.