Sunday, 30 September 2007

I don't understand!

Mr Woman says Mr Man's coming home tomorrow! But she says he's not Mr Man any longer - he's Dr Man now. Doctor Man? Has he turned into a vet? What's happened? She says we've got to wash behind our ears and sit neatly for him when he comes in. Why? Why does he want to see us washing our ears?

She says we've got to be clean and perfect. Does she want us to look like this? It's clean, but not very kwl.

Friday, 28 September 2007

Paws crossed for Mr Man

Mr Woman has sent all our good luck away, so we're hiding, in case something bad happens while we're not looking. She says Mr Man needs it all today and we've to keep our paws crossed for him. Will this do? We just want Mr Man to come home again. He's coming home with a pee itch dee. Does he really want one of those? It sounds sore.

Maybe he's at the vet again.

Good Luck, Mr Man!

Thursday, 27 September 2007

Mr Man's abandoned me! Again!!

Why does he keep leaving me behind? Mr Woman keeps singing about lumberjacks and says that the "moun tees" have him as she says that the "moun tees" always get their Mr. Man. On the good side, Mr. Woman feeds me whatever I want as long as I make it very obvious. She tried to feed me "Whiskas" today! Yuck. Hand cooked free range chicken breast or nothing. That's all that's suitable for a prince among cats.

Sunday, 23 September 2007

Correcting the facts

I don't know what cat of little brain means. That "Pumpkin" is nothing like me. You won't find me rolling around the floor. I'm a lean, mean hunting machine. I haven't got time for such fripperies. And I'm nowhere near "ginger."

OK. Who's playing silly buggers? I'll have you know that that photo is unfair.
Oh. What's that? Is it? Yes it is. It's a kat tickler. Excuse me, no time left to blog. Must chase. Chase! Chase!!!

There's nothing worse than pedantic humans who insist that "kat tikkler" is spelt with three k's. Bad enough having to type "kat". I will not surrender my principles! Zero tolerance for grammatical mistake's! Thats what I say.

PPS. The apostrophe errors were deliberate.

PPPS. No Ash. I do not have time to explain what an apostrophe is. Just be happy that it's not your mother, it has nothing to do with "stix" and, no you are not "smallish." There is no ish. Happy now?

PPPPS. If the male human considers some sort of catastrophe/apostrophe pun for even a second, I will cuff him.

I've got a new friend!

called Pumpkin and he's got an evil meow! I wish I had an evil meow!! Pumpkin's really kwl!!!! He's like Mr. Desh only bigger. Much bigger!!!!

Friday, 21 September 2007

Wednesday, 12 September 2007

Monday, 10 September 2007

You are my mother!

Oh, Mr Desh! I think I found her! My mother! She's big and beautiful and furry and warm and sleepy! I was confused - I thought she was all white but she's not. She's so BIG, so PRETTY - she's like a big, a big brown - a big Brown Bear. Yes! That's just what she's like! Oh, I found her!

But you wouldn't chase her up a tree, would you, Mr Desh?

Now, how do I get to her?

Sad cloud

We are the guppycloud.

We are the sad guppycloud; we are shrinking.

We sing with small voice and we sing a sorrow song for big Yellow and for Feathers, gone to the rainbow pool.

Sad is the guppycloud. Small is the guppycloud.

We sing our song of return for Halftail in hospitalworld. Return! Sing and shimmer!

Sunday, 9 September 2007

The pills are back.

Tricky blogging at the moment; the humans have got me back on the grow bigger pills. Paws getting big. Body getting big. Hungry. Too hungry to blog! Must eat now.

Why is it?

Mr Man and Mr Woman occasionally laugh me and say my marbles have gone missing? I don't even know what marbles are so how can I have lost them? Sometimes humans are very strange.
Mr. Man's gone again. Now there's no one to stop Mr. Woman feeding me whenever I want. Sometimes he stands in front of the magic door and when Mr. Woman says "but he's hungry! He's wasting away my poor, darling, little Ash" he just laughs! Laughs! And says "he can wait." But I can't. Even now, my strength is fading. I must eat! Half an hour it's taken so far but I will not cease my alarm calls. Mr. Woman will hear and feed me. I know this.

Friday, 7 September 2007

The GuppyCloud

We are the guppy cloud! We do not forget minicloud in hospitalworld!
We sing a song of return!
We sing, fins can only get better!

Wednesday, 5 September 2007

Oh, no!

Mr Man's gone again! He got in the car with Mr Woman this morning and they drove away. Now she's back but he's not. She must have left him at the vet! Oh, no! She's forgotten him!

I'll not forget him. I love Mr Man and he loves me. I'm going to wait here so that I'll be the first to know when he comes home again. I'll stay awake and watch for him. mmmmmm. warm here. warrrrrmmmmmmpurrrrrrrrrrrzrrzzzrrrzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Tuesday, 4 September 2007

Not speaking to HER

Not speaking to Mr Woman.

She must have done something to have made Mr Man go away. Don't know what, but he was away for days AND MR WOMAN TOOK ME TO THE VET AGAIN. Why? I was going outside to be sick so she didn't have to clean the carpet. I wasn't being bad, so why did she take me there to be squeezed? Ugh! And they shaved my neck. Why did they do that? I don't look so fluffy any more now.

But Mr Man's back again now. I love Mr Man! He likes me jumping on that tappy thing he taps every day and he loves it when I howl at him. I think his hearing isn't too good because I have to howl an awful lot to get his attention but I can howl really loud, so that's OK. I love Mr Man. I'll always howl for him.

Don't like Mr Woman though.

Somedays, it's good to be me.


Monday, 3 September 2007